Beyond Regret

Certainly there are things you've done in the past that you now wish you had not done. And there are surely things you've failed to do that you now wish you had done.

Regret can be quite painful, and yet in the pain of regret there is also power. Because with each regret you have the opportunity to learn, to adjust and to improve.

When the sting of regret comes upon you, let yourself feel that sting for a moment, but only for a moment. Then take that negative energy and turn it into something positive.

Instead of continuing to wallow in painful regret, learn from your mistakes and do something about them. There is nothing you can do to change the past, yet you can indeed change the value you get from what you've done in the past.

The most positive, forward looking thing you can do with the past is to learn all you can from it. Whatever your regrets may be, move beyond them by letting their pains teach you valuable lessons.

Then step confidently ahead, wiser and more experienced, with more solid, tireless determination than ever before.

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Fill your life

There's no need to be stopped by what you cannot do. Instead, move yourself ahead by doing what you can do. Sure, you have limitations just like everyone else. Yet your possibilities are far greater than your limitations.

Focus on the positive possibilities and you'll find a way around those limitations. Stop worrying about what you don't have and do what you can, where you are, with what you do have. It is more than enough to take you anywhere you desire to go.

Every day is filled with treasures yet to be discovered. But if you go through the day filled with resentment, anger or envy, you'll walk right on past those treasures without even glimpsing them.

Instead, seek to add value to each situation in which you find yourself. Make a genuine effort to make a real difference. Rather than lamenting what you don't have, appreciate and make full use of what you do have, and the best things you can imagine will fill your life.

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Persist

Achievements come to those who remain steadfast, to those who can stay focused and positively committed no matter what. Though the winds may blow, though the rain and snow may come, the mountain stands firm. Be a mountain. Stay firm in your resolve to reach the destination you have chosen.

Trivial and meaningless things will come along to distract you. Choose to ignore them and continue moving surely and steadily in the direction you have chosen. Worries, fears, and anxieties will spring up. Listen to what they have to say, learn from them and then let them go as you continue to move steadily forward.

Others will criticize you, and doubt you, and perhaps even laugh at you for the steadiness of your purpose. Pay no heed to their doubts, for you are on the path toward achievement.

Many will set goals, yet too few will persist long enough to see them through. Be among those who do, and you'll experience the joy and fulfillment that only true, meaningful achievement can bring.

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View of Life

If you want to be miserable, then get yourself around other people who are miserable. If you wish to be joyful, successful and fulfilled, put yourself around those who live with positive purpose.

The more energy you put into complaining about how bad things are, the more things you'll have to complain about. The more intensely you visualize how good things can be, the better they will become.

You are naturally drawn to whatever you focus upon. You will see precisely the opportunities and possibilities that you prepare yourself to see.

Each day is filled with so many choices and directions that you cannot possibly connect to them all. The ones you do connect with are the ones that most closely resonate with your view of life.

Fortunately, you can choose to view life in whatever way you wish. Those who find the best in life are those who continually remind themselves that all the good and valuable things are most certainly there.

See your life as a grand opportunity for love and joy, achievement and fulfillment. And that's exactly what it will be.

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Power of Acceptance

When the world seems to be falling down around you, you can choose to fall down with it or you can choose a more positive path. Acceptance will put you on that positive path.

Fighting against negativity only produces more negativity. Yet when you accept what is, no matter how terrible and difficult it may be, you put yourself in a position to start changing it for the better.

Acceptance does not mean giving in or giving up. It means moving on, as in moving on ahead.

There is simply no point in fighting battles which have already been lost, nor is there any point in allowing the loss to continue to slow you down. The smart strategy is to accept it and then put all your energy toward a positive pursuit.

Acceptance does not mean allowing others to take advantage of you. It simply means that you look realistically at what has happened and allow yourself to see the positive opportunities that are most certainly there.

Once you accept what is, you are free to move positively forward. Once you quit fighting, you are free to start achieving.

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A different angle

You can learn many things from those who agree with you. You can often learn even more from those with whom you disagree.

Your own perspective is important, for it enables you to make sense of the world. Always keep in mind, though, that yours is not the only perspective.

You can listen to others, learn from them, and successfully work with them even though you may not agree with them on all issues. If everyone held the exact same opinion on every subject, then knowledge and wisdom would become stagnant and outdated.

Your own perspective will grow stronger and more useful when you regularly allow it to be challenged. When people respectfully agree to disagree, everyone benefits from the diversity of opinion.

Living a life of success and fulfillment does not depend on always proving that you're right and that others are wrong. To make real progress you must let go of the assumption that you already have all the answers.

Stay true to the values you treasure, while thoughtfully considering the different perspectives of others. Look at life from a different angle, and you'll always find new richness.

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Always Something

There is always something positive that you can do. On the best of days, or in the most challenging of circumstances, you can choose to move forward.

Conditions are not as bad as they seem, nor are conditions as good as they appear. Conditions are whatever you choose to make of them.

It's up to you to take the energy of this day and give it a specific direction. Though circumstances are constantly changing, you can always choose to move in the direction of your dreams.

Of course there are complications, challenges and obstacles. And you can use them all to create your own path forward.

You are in control of your thoughts and actions. That's a powerful place from which to operate, no matter what the outside circumstances may be.

There is always something positive, productive, enriching and fulfilling that you can do. Get up, get going, and make a difference in your own special way.

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Tomorrow

You make your own tomorrow, by the actions you take today. Right now, tomorrow is open for you to shape and design. It is available for you to do with as you please. Yet you must get started today. If you let tomorrow come without your active participation in its design, chances are that it won't be completely to your liking.

Take action today, and make tomorrow whatever you want it to be.

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Q of the day

You have to rewrite "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" – what do you rename the title characters?

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Someday

Someday you'll discover that living brings more fulfillment than buying. Someday you'll realize that each day is a golden treasure, far too precious to be wasted pursuing someone else's idea of happiness.

Someday you'll discover that you already have enough, and will spend your time being rather than getting. Someday you'll understand the futility of taking shortcuts, and will hunger for the solid nourishment of living with integrity. Someday you'll experience the magnificent abundance which comes from giving of yourself. Someday you'll live each moment with purpose and passion.

That someday is coming. There's nothing stopping it but you. Someday life will be filled with joy and meaning. That someday can be today. Live it, and it is yours.

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Q of the day

Share the hardest "goodbye" you've ever had to say.

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Shape the future

Right now, as this moment happens, a new you is coming to life. This new you is positive by choice, disciplined, passionate, focused, and capable of achieving anything which can be imagined. The old you has vanished into memory along with the rest of the past. The new you can take you anywhere you want to go. Right now, the future is yours to shape. Do it with care. Do it with joy. Do it with passion. And it will be great.

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Our Heart

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Q of the day

Share a winter memory.: Explain why you associate this memory with winter

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Hope on

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Q of the day

List your favorite alternatives to saying 'no.': Sometimes 'no' is too harsh. Offer some softer options.

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Live Sense

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Q of the day

If you could have your own fragrance, what would it be called?: Describe what it would smell like.

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Desire

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New Sun

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Think Hard Now

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We think, We become

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What do you think?

"… we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that’s so deeply a part of your being that you can’t even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless."

Paul Bowles

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Exercise 5 – Remember there are a lot of things that are RIGHT in the world.

Too often the news stories are filled with sad or disturbing events. Take some time to notice stories in the media, whether it’s on paper, on TV or radio, or online, about things that are good in this world. I think you’ll find a lot more positives out there than you might imagine. There’s hope!

Written by Julie Neraas


Julie Neraas is the author of Apprenticed to Hope A Sourcebook for Difficult Times.

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Exercise 4 – Make a list of all that you have survived.

You know many people – family, work colleagues, friends or any other members of your personal network – that have survived some challenging times. Make a list of these people. I think you’ll be amazed at the way people find equilibrium and exhibit resilience no matter what life has thrown at them. Seeing others’ experiences of endurance can give you something to lean on in the future – more hope!

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Exercise 3 – Each day for one month, practice savoring life with your senses.

Cultivate wonder, curiosity, amazement and a willingness to be surprised by using ALL your senses. On Monday, pay attention to smells and your remarkable nose. On Tuesday, focus on sounds and your amazing ears. On Wednesday focus on sight and the miracle of your eyes. On Thursday notice everything that touches your skin whether it’s sunlight, a breeze or the hand of someone who cares about you. On Friday use your sense of taste to enjoy the most delicious food! Each day focusing on a particular taste will help you enjoy the simple pleasures

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Exercise 2 – Pay attention to the best qualities in people

Notice people’s faithfulness to each other, whether as friends, siblings, spouses, or business colleagues. Who hangs in there for others in the long haul? Look for people who exhibit generosity and kindness like the nurse at a doctor’s office who goes out of her way to escort an elderly patient to the car, a child who shares his valuable toys or parents who make sacrifices for their children. Find someone who has made a huge change in their life that no one expected. Maybe you know a recovering addict who found sobriety or a student who struggled in school but made a breakthrough with academics. Maybe you even know someone who spent time in jail but has lived a healthy life ever since. Even ordinary looking people around you have waged battles and come out the other side a better person.

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Exercise 1 – One picture a day

For the period of a week, a month, or even a year take one picture a day of the people and things that make life ‘go round’ for you. Take a snapshot of the people who help you every day – the mechanic who keeps your car going or the day-care provider who loves your child, even folks you see every day like your mail carrier or the cashier at the grocery store who always asks about your family. Use that camera phone to look for beauty in the natural world – the flaming maple tree on your street, the red tomatoes coming up in a garden or the dog that always welcomes you home with tail wagging enthusiasm. Take a photo of things that help make your life work; your car; good winter coat; your canoe or kayak, bicycle or skis, stereo, piano, guitar, books, great food.

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Five places to find hope…where you’d least expect it!

Sometimes there are reasons for hope but we just can’t see them. Maybe we’re too busy, rushing by simple joys and pleasures. Or we look for hope in the old familiar places but brush right by new ones where we might not think to look.

Here are some exercises to practice if you want to find hope in some unexpected places. Each exercise will bolster your appreciation for life’s wonders – and result in much more hope in your life. And guess what? They can actually be fun.

Now stay tuned for 5 places, 1 place a day!

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Ponder AGAIN!

1. I will never complain about a problem. I will supply a solution instead.

2. I will listen more than I speak.

3. If I don’t know, I will ask questions.

4. Everything is nothing without happiness. I must do what makes me happy.

5. I will never succumb to greed. Enough is enough.

6. Time is precious. I will manage my time effectively.

7. Right now is the only guaranteed moment in my life. I will make the best of it.

8. I will stand firm by my values without senselessly promoting them.

9. I will never over-promise. I will over-deliver on everything I commit to.

10. I will always assess the situation and provide value where needed.

11. I cannot make someone love me. I can only be someone who can be loved.

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Turning water into wine: 4 ways to make miracles happen

Life is full of miracles.

Many times the miracles are performed by ordinary people and not by divine intervention or a higher power.

You too can make miracles happen. Here are four ways you can do the “impossible,” accomplish amazing feats, change lives, and perform miracles.

1. Know that one person’s miracle is another person’s goal

Doing the “impossible” sometimes seems like performing miracles to the onlooker, but to the doer it’s not miracle work. It’s hard work; work that requires patience, persistence, and different thinking.

One person views it as a miracle that somehow falls into place and another person views it as a goal that they put into place.

2. Don’t expect to impress everyone

Just as some people will be blown away at what you’re able to accomplish, others will just yawn at you. They won’t understand the magnitude of what you’ve done or maybe they just don’t care.

Don’t look to impress anyone but yourself with what you can do.

3. Refuse to accept someone else’s failure as fact

Before we take on a difficult task we usually look to others who attempted similar feats. We’re looking for indications about how hard it’s going to be for ourselves and we’re mostly looking for inspiration to push us.

Often though, we don’t find much hope. Instead of inspiration we find a vast wasteland covered in the broken dreams of those who tried but didn’t succeed and gave up.

However, just because so many failed before you doesn’t mean that it’s the truth and your destiny. You can be the pioneer who drudges through that wasteland no matter how long it takes.

4. Find solace in difficultly

When do miracles happen? During good or bad times?

When things are going great these achievements and events aren’t considered miracles because they aren’t very amazing and they’re not really needed.

Miracles only happen during difficult times when hope seems lost. So find comfort for your mind and soul in the adversity you’re dealt. It’s during these rough patches when miracles are created and thrive.

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Unachieved Goals in the 11th Hour

You set a deadline and you’ve worked your ass off day in and day out. You’ve remained positive and you’ve jumped over and busted through any obstacles that stood in your way, but still, time is not on your side and it looks like you aren’t going to achieve your goal before the timer that you created is up.

This feeling is extremely frustrating and causes many people to fail.

So what can you do when it turns to the 11th hour and it feels like time is up?

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Implement

8.

Implement your decision with zeal and conviction. It is the best call you could have made. Have confidence in it.

CONCLUSION:

A tremendous advantage of being careful about this process for the big calls in life is the freedom of knowing you have done all you could do. You were careful, methodical and diligent giving the matter the importance it deserved. You made the best call that was possible at that time, knowing all that was knowable. So, do not look back, even if subsequent events temp you to think you went the wrong way. The only reason to look back is to review the process you used so you can improve it the next time.

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Decide

7.

When the time comes DECIDE, using the facts you assembled and analyzed and now in full cognizance of your feelings about the matter. Applying the heart driven judgment at the end is a powerful part of the process and takes human intuition fully into account, but the process does not get derailed from reality if you limit this step to the end.

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Focus

6.

As the time for the decision approaches, narrow the choices to the 2 or 3 best alternatives and focus on them. Be disciplined and focus only on these best alternatives.

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Order

5.

Are you keeping notes? Do it. It is easy to revisit the issues, track the process and order your thinking. Reorder the notes from time to time as the imperative considerations begin to emerge.

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